And... TRRRRROOOOTTTT!

"If you don't like it, don't read it. Dammit"

Warning: This post contains adult content. Those sensitive to adult language or white girls whining about how fucking hard riding their Grand Prix horse is should turn away now.

Seriously.

I warned you....


Well, on my fourth lesson with Mr. Bucky, I astounded AG with my vocabulary. This may come as a shock to many of you, seeing how I am normally pretty mild mannered and my mother was sitting at the end of the arena.

To set the scene, I had just had a stellar lesson on Tilly. Everything we tried, she aced. I was riding that high. Then I got on Bucky.

That asshole.

He was perky and totally unperturbed to be in a new place, per usual. He called for his pony once or twice during the walk warm up while AG and I joked about whatever.
Then we moved on to our warm up transitions; we've been warming up with trot-halt-trot transitions to keep those cart horse legs from cycling out behind him as he becomes as long as a barge. I had had a great ride on him the day before; all of our shit was finally coming together.
The trot-halt-trot transitions were going well. Too well. AG upped the ante to the Trot-Half Halt- Trot transitions.
Pssssh, I've totally got this. I can ride this horse, I said to myself.
Trot, half-halt... Full halt.

shit.

Let's try this again.
Trot, half-halt... Nearly full halt, passage.
And again.
Trot- half halt - passage.
shit!
Passage- full halt
God damn it!
Trot- passage. Passage- halt. Passage- passage. Piaffe-Passage
GAWD DAMN!
Passage. Passage. Passage. Halt. Passage
Fuuuuuuuuuuck!

Te-He Te-He, mere mortal.

Extended trot (while being chased by AG with a lunge whip).
At this point I was too out of breath of even curse. I'm pretty sure that Bucky was giggling. He was completely happy and unapologetic about the whole episode.

After the walk break, I started the canter work. Medium-collected.
Check! Finally something I can do!
Half pass right?
Oh, yeah. Rocked it!
Half pass left?
We've done worse. I'll take it.
Turn on the diagonal for the four tempis?
one-one-one-one-one-one-one-halt.
Shhhhiiiit!
Try again.
one-one-one-one-halt.
Dammit!
And again.
Four-four-one-one-one-one
Fuck it all and this damn smart aleck horse!

Te-he from Bucky.
Stupid Grand Prix horses and all of their fancy tricks.
Oh, and three weeks until I have to canter down the centerline in front of a judge on this beast. With any luck, I will learn how to ride him by then.




At least someone had a good day

Dammit.