Monday, December 5, 2011

Everyone's an Expert...

Those of you who keep tabs on my might have noticed that there seems to be quite a lot of advice from the railbirds at my barn. Now, I'm doing my best not to come off as the Dressage Queen who only rides Imported Warmbloods in silly circles until we get dizzy... Which is why I have to share some of the barn happenings with you guys, otherwise I'll simply explode on the next horse whapping carrot stick weilding neophyte that lobs a truth bomb in my general direction.
"What a Beautiful day to go riding" I naively think to myself
Case in point....

I've been playing with the changes on RC, and he's getting closer. Now, the good thing about Mr. Chompers is how hard he tries all the time. The bad thing about him, is how hard he tried all the time. Sometimes RC get's himself too worked up about something (Sit? More? Is that enough? Too much? AHHHHHHH) and gets tight in his back. Sounds serious, doesn't it? His canter gets ugly and stiff, and his nose comes above the vertical. Terrible, terrible.
Our local expert (who I've never seen on a horse), Mr FreeLunger, was watching me ride (why? I'm not sure... Probably my tight abs and great ass... under 30 layers of clothing). Ovbiously he was not impressed with Mr. C-sters changes. Even when I moved on to the counter canter and counter bending on the circle to help RC relax a little bit more, I could tell that more wisdom was about to burst forth from the lazy boy at C (no, seriously. There's a Lazyboy recliner in the end of the arena. Legit, right?).

"You know why your having so much trouble with that horse?"
Oh yes. Tell me oh wise one. Enlighten me as to the problems between my and this horse
"He get's tense in the back after the changes so I have to work on relaxing him again in the canter" was my thoughtful, PC reply. I think I covered all of my bases, my answer was technical without sounding arrogant and hopefully headed off any advice.
"No that's not it. He's got white feet"
Wait, what? Is this about him being short last month after the bad trimming? He's great now, but maybe he looks off in the canter when he braces. I mean, these guys can't tell when a horse is cross-firing in the canter, so maybe they just see that something is NQR, I think magnanimously. 
"Um, what?" I ask. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Never ask a railbird a question!!!!!
"Yep, horses with four white feet aren't good for nothing"
Stunned silence. Nervous laughter. Pick up the trot and pretend like the last five minutes of my life never happened.
"There's a saying you know...."
Oh, god no. The wisdom just keeps coming.....
"If a horse has one white foot you buy it. Two white feet you try it. Three white feet you look about it and four white feet you oughtta go without it. Four white feet and white on it's nose, shoot him in the head and feed him to the crows.... Someone oughtta told you that."
Shoot... ? Crows...? Seriously?

It's a good thing that his wisdom is being passed down generations. I mean, if no one had told me, I might have wasted years trying to get RC to be a competitive show horse....

Oh wait. I did.
 He is.

It wasn't me! It's the Socks! They made me do it!
So, maybe it's not true...

At least I dodged the bullet and didn't buy a chestnut mare! Ha, those suckers!
Even has the four white socks. And white on her nose... The Trifecta!

Damn it. (And that picture of Tilly is a still shot from my attempt to film her on the lunge. Her head's not really that big)

Scott and Bacon inventing winter sports
At least I have three mostly happy dogs to return home to. Oh, except that Scott chewed off all the hair on Tempi's tail... now she looks (maybe appropriately) like her little poodle bottom is flipping me the bird... Sigh.
One of these dogs isn't enjoy this....

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