Saturday, March 22, 2014


"If you don't like it, don't read it. Dammit"
Warning: This post contains adult content. Those sensitive to adult language or white girls whining about how fucking hard riding their Grand Prix horse is should turn away now.


I warned you....

Well, on my fourth lesson with Mr. Bucky, I astounded AG with my vocabulary. This may come as a shock to many of you, seeing how I am normally pretty mild mannered and my mother was sitting at the end of the arena.

To set the scene, I had just had a stellar lesson on Tilly. Everything we tried, she aced. I was riding that high. Then I got on Bucky.

That asshole.

He was perky and totally unperturbed to be in a new place, per usual. He called for his pony once or twice during the walk warm up while AG and I joked about whatever.
Then we moved on to our warm up transitions; we've been warming up with trot-halt-trot transitions to keep those cart horse legs from cycling out behind him as he becomes as long as a barge. I had had a great ride on him the day before; all of our shit was finally coming together.
The trot-halt-trot transitions were going well. Too well. AG upped the ante to the Trot-Half Halt- Trot transitions.
Pssssh, I've totally got this. I can ride this horse, I said to myself.
Trot, half-halt... Full halt.


Let's try this again.
Trot, half-halt... Nearly full halt, passage.
And again.
Trot- half halt - passage.
Passage- full halt
God damn it!
Trot- passage. Passage- halt. Passage- passage. Piaffe-Passage
Passage. Passage. Passage. Halt. Passage
Te-He Te-He, mere mortal.

Extended trot (while being chased by AG with a lunge whip).
At this point I was too out of breath of even curse. I'm pretty sure that Bucky was giggling. He was completely happy and unapologetic about the whole episode.

After the walk break, I started the canter work. Medium-collected.
Check! Finally something I can do!
Half pass right?
Oh, yeah. Rocked it!
Half pass left?
We've done worse. I'll take it.
Turn on the diagonal for the four tempis?
Try again.
And again.
Fuck it all and this damn smart aleck horse!

Te-he from Bucky.
Stupid Grand Prix horses and all of their fancy tricks.
Oh, and three weeks until I have to canter down the centerline in front of a judge on this beast. With any luck, I will learn how to ride him by then.

At least someone had a good day


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