Monday, February 20, 2012

Monkey See, Monkey Do

There is a disturbing trend that I'm beginning to notice as my days as a boarder are drawing to a close (at a glacial pace)... My horses are the scapegoats.

Sure, I get it; I have three fit young horses. They do silly things, like flagging their tails over their backs and snorting in their best elephant impression when first turned out. RC might even take two or three trot steps before he hits the fence line and calls it quits in favor of more food. Delight will sling her head and play rear with the gelding across the fence (not RC. That guy's a jerk. The other gelding who won't overreact and squeal like a girl). Tilly will lead her pony herd at the break neck canter, leaping logs and snow banks until her morning hay is delivered. Silly young horse games, right?

Evidently not. Those nefarious ponies may look cute an innocent, when actually, they are contributing to the delinquency of everyone else!!! MWAHAHAHHA (evil grin, here)!

So what exactly is the problem, you ask?

RC has been accused of teaching another horse in the barn to rear under saddle. All of that frolicking that RC and Delight do three turnout pens away is rubbing off on Mr Wonderful*, which is simply ruining him for this coming show year**

Ahm, so lets examine the facts:

  • A horse in the barn has developed a bad habit.
  • My three horses have all been seen bucking under saddle. (Hey, dressage isn't perfect all the time!)
  • My horses have been seen rearing out in the turnouts.
  • My horses 'fight' through their bars at each other while waiting for dinner. Sometimes little rears are involved.
Given all of the above as facts, the only logical assumption is that RC has grown bored with teasing Delight every day and has moved on the try to teach Mr Wonderful how to misbehave under saddle. And here I've been telling everyone that RC is a little simple minded when he is, in fact, a diabolical genius!

* Mr Wonderful is not his real name. Mr Wonderful's true identity will remain a secret to keep him safe from any more nefarious plots hatched by my herd of brain-trusts.

** Obviously the only answer is that I'm teaching RC to teach Mr Wonderful to rear only to further my own show career and RULE THE WORLD!!!!!

Of course, I'm the first one to say that my horses aren't perfect. They are dorky, immature and entertaining as all get out. As a matter of fact, when let in the arena for a little "free time" after receiving their shots this weekend, RC proceeded to grab a cone, wander over to Delight and proceed to whap her in the butt with it until she out ran him. In less than half an hour, RC managed to redecorate the arena with barrels, jump standards, cones and noodles. Delight was not amused.


  1. Really? Someone is blaming your horses turnout hijinks for their horse's bad behavior under saddle... Phew I have heard everything now!

  2. And here I've always thought that RC was more an impulsive pain in the butt. Who would have guessed that he's actually an evil mastermind?